I'm A WHAT!
by Angelchan2012
Summary: While goin home, Keigo decides to tell Ichi about a certain online test that tells you if yer Seme/Uke. Ichi & Grimm take the test, Ichi's shocked about his results! Yaoi, MxM rated M Pls R
1. Chapter 1

**Angelchan2012: **Oh my gosh! Guess what?

**Grimm: **You're finally gonna finish the rest of your stories?

**Shiro: **Yer gonna make a badass story with me and Ichi?

**Ichi: **You found the trail to candy mountain and met Charlie the Unicorn?

**Angel & GrimmShiro: **O.e …WTF?

**Ichi: ***blushes* just wondering…

**Angelchan2012: **Wait…did **you** find Candy Mountain?

**Ichi: **Maybe…

**Angelchan2012: **Liar, cuz I've been looking everywhere! Anyway, no, I came up with another idea for a story! Thank you plot bunnies!

**GrimmShiro: ***rolls eyes while sighing* here she goes again…

**Ichi: **I think it's great that she came up with a new idea! *smiles*

**Angelchan2012: **Aww~! Thanks Ichi! *hugs Ichi* now say the phrase so we can read and enjoy it!

**GrimmIchiShiro: **Please read and review! Angel doesn't own Bleach or its characters! And she doesn't own the website mentioned either!

"Hey Ichigo!" Keigo called, waving his hands in the air. The red head sighed, thinking, _why me?_ "What do you want now Keigo?" Ichi muttered, dodging the hug that was meant for him. There was a loud 'thump!' followed by Keigo whining, "So mean~! Anyway, Ichi guess what? A friend of mine found this super cool website called , and I took the quiz on there, oh my gosh-it was so cute~! Apparently I'm a Dramatic Uke, which is weird, cuz I'm totally seme material!"

Ichigo rolled his eyes while saying, "Keigo, you're too dimwitted to be seme, and…you shouldn't believe things you read on the internet." Keigo smirked and said, "You know, you're only saying that because you'd end up getting some uke result!" Ichigo stopped in his tracks and gave the brunette his famous death glare. Keigo instantly stopped his babbling and stuttered, "W-well, gotta get h-home, see ya Ichi!" With that said, the brunette turned on his heel and ran home.

The berry sighed, thinking, _what an idiot…stupid Keigo, calling me a uke…I am __**not**__ a uke…anyway; it'll be good to get home soon._ Once the teen entered his house, he was surprised that he didn't get a flying kick to the face or some sort of attack from his father. _Where is everyone?_ The boy thought, finally catching sight of a note on the kitchen table.

**Dear Ichi-nii,**

**Dad has gone on a trip for his job and won't be back until next Sunday, as for Karin and I, we are staying at a friend's house for the week, and we will not be back until the same day. There is already dinner in the fridge, so when you're hungry, just reheat it. There is also some money saved on the emergency credit card, so use it when you need to. We love you and will see you Sunday!**

**Love,**

**Yuzu**

Ichigo couldn't help but smile at the thought of having the house to himself for the whole week. _No one to burst in on me when I'm sleeping, thank God,_ the teen thought, falling gracelessly onto his bed and sighing in content. The boy rose from his bed and went to the restroom to bathe. When he came out, he was completely naked, save for a towel around his midriff.

After the teen got dressed, he thought to himself, _well, I am a little bored…I guess I could give that stupid site a chance…hmm…well, it would be interesting to see what I'd get._ Ichigo turned on his computer and let it load, muttering, "Stupid computer, going too slow." (A/N lol don't ya just **hate** when that happens?)

Just as the device loaded, there was a knock on the door. Sighing in annoyance, Ichigo ran a hand through his hair and got up, went downstairs and opened the door. Standing outside was Ichigo's boyfriend, Grimmjow Jeagerjaques. The man was 6'2", with teal colored hair and eyes, a well kept physic and a sexy smirk to boot! The guy was practically a sex god, and for him to be Ichigo's was like a world record. The blunette stood at the doorway, flashing his lover a smirk that always sent shivers down his spine.

"G-Grimmjow…? What are you doing here?" Ichi asked, completely bewildered-the guy came over often, but he usually called or sent some signal to the berry of his arrival. "What? I'm not allowed to visit my sexy lil Strawberry anymore?" Grimm joked; walking inside once the red head allowed him entrance. "Of course you are, and don't call me strawberry," Ichi growled, glaring when his lover started laughing at the remark. "Whatever," the blunette said nonchalantly, "so, what were we up to?" Ichigo rolled his eyes and said, "Follow me to my room and you'll find out."

The blunette's eyes widened, flashing the red head a lecherous smirk. "No, I wasn't doing something like **that**, pervert." Ichi muttered, chuckling at his boyfriend's stupidity. When they got to the boy's room, Ichigo had Grimm sit on the bed, while he pulled up the website. "Well, earlier today, Keigo was blabbering about this site and told me to take the test. Apparently it determines if you're seme or uke in a relationship. So, when I got home, I found out my family's gone for the week and won't be back 'till Sunday, so I thought, why not give it a shot. Besides, it's all in good fun, right?" Ichi explained, scratching his head awkwardly when his boyfriend just stared at him, eyes wide. The red head practically jumped when he heard the other laughing his ass off. "Oh man!" Grimm gasped, "You're really…gonna take some…stupid test to see…if you're seme or uke? That's priceless!"

Ichigo glared bloody murder at the blunette that was currently rolling on the floor, laughing very hard. "My stomach! It hurts!" the blunette chuckled; only to stop when he saw the look on his berry's face. "So," he coughed, "why are ya taking this thing again?" Ichigo sighed, wondering why he got with an idiot, before saying, "I'm taking it just for fun, ya know, to laugh at the stupid results I might get?" Grimmjow 'oh-ed' in response before saying, "Well, let's see what you're made of Berry!"

Once Ichigo turned back to the computer, he scanned through the questions, chuckling at some of the answer choices. One of them had him laughing out loud. "What's so funny?" Grimm questioned, looking over the boy's shoulder to see what he was laughing at. Once the blunette read it, he was gripping his sides in painful laughter…again. The question read:

_1. Do you enjoy licking things?_

_Whatever's in front of me. *licks lips*_

_What the hell's wrong with you?_

_No, not really._

_Only if I'm forced to._

_Do you want me to?_

_Ask me again and I'll kick your ass._

After about an hour-the red head only took so long due to laughing his ass off at the questions and answers-Ichigo submitted the test and stared at his screen in pure horror. It read:

_You are a Badass Uke!_

_Other uke admire you, some seme fear you. Despite your sometimes flaming appearance, you can even fool other people into thinking you are seme with your mischievous, manipulative attitude, but when push comes to shove, your true submissive nature emerges. It takes a seme with enough intensity to challenge you and keep you satisfied, and your perfect match, the Don't Fuck With Me Seme, knows that all that naughty teasing just means you want the punishment._

_Most compatible with: __Don't Fuck With Me Seme, Chibi Seme  
__Least compatible with:__ Sadistic Seme, Romantic Seme_

"Oh…my…god…" Ichigo muttered, completely shocked, only to shout, "I'M A WHAT? Stupid piece of shit test! This is bullshit!" His teal haired lover came up behind him and said, "What's wrong Ichi? What did you-"the blunette instantly fell silent, staring wide eyed and mouth agape at the screen. After a few minutes of silence, Grimmjow said, "Um…Ichi, if you want, I can take the test and then we can laugh at the results I get." Ichigo stared at his boyfriend shocked, "Why? I'd of thought that by now you'd probably be dead from laughing at my results. And there is no way I'm a fucking uke!" Grimmjow chuckled a little and said, "I'm not that mean…look, I'll take the test and then we'll see whose result was funnier, okay?"

Ichigo nodded, eyeing his lover suspiciously, _what is he thinking? He should have been laughing his ass off by now…or dead._ Grimm took the seat and sat in front of the screen, clicking the 'retake the test' button. After another ten minutes, Grimmjow finally submitted his test and stared at his results. His result read:

_You are a Don't Fuck With Me Seme!_

_Serious and to the point, and sometimes bordering on the sadistic, it takes a special breed of uke to satisfy your needs. You tend to be anti-social with little patience for most people. You need someone to challenge you and push you to your limits, and then be able to take your intense reactions, which possibly involves rope and sensual torture. This is what makes the Badass Uke the yin for your yang, as you're the only one able to put them in line and satisfy each other._

_Most compatible with: Badass Uke_

_Least compatible with: Dramatic Uke, Innocent Uke, Clueless Uke_

Ichigo looked over the blunette's shoulder to read his results, his eyes widened when he read it. The boy softly cursed, "No. Fucking. Way." Grimmjow smirked and said, "I think it defined my personality very well." "Like hell it does!" the red head snapped, crossing his arms over his chest. Grimm chuckled and rose from his seat, wrapping his arms around the berry, whispering into his ear, "It's okay that you're uke…besides, we **are** a perfect a match for each other."

The carrot top huffed, muttering, "…not a uke…" The blunette chuckled, kissing his love's neck and rising to his ear, only to take the lobe between his teeth and suck on it. This caused his berry to moan and lean into the teal haired male's touch. Suddenly, Grimmjow lifted the red head up and dropped him onto the bed, straddling his hips. Ichigo stared at the feral man in shock and confusion. Grimm smirked and husked, "I'll prove to you that you're a uke…more importantly, you're _**my**_ uke…"

Once that was said, the blunette slid his hand under the red head's boxers, wrapping it around the boy's member and pumping it slowly. "N-no…Ahh!" Ichi moaned, bucking his hips into Grimm's hand. "Hehe…you seem to enjoy it, maybe you are uke…" Grimm chuckled, continuing to pump the red head's member sensually. "A-ahh…Grimmjow…" Ichi moaned, bucking his hips into the teal haired male's hand.

The blunette smirked and reached for the nightstand, grabbing a bottle of lube and moistening three of his fingers in it. He locked gazes with the berry as he slid the first finger into the red head's tight entrance. Once he felt Ichigo was ready, Grimmjow slipped another finger inside, pausing at the slight hiss coming from said orange head.

Ichi's eyes showed that he was in pain, yet they never wavered from the blunette's, in fact he seemed to want to have it done, he moved his hips, causing Grimm's fingers to move deeper inside of him. The teal haired male's other hand was still ministering to the red head's swollen cock. Grimmjow was shocked when the red head pushed him down and straddled his hips.

"I think I'm ready for something **much **bigger…" the boy murmured, guiding the blunette's cock to his (Ichi) entrance. He was poised to slide down on the blunette's member when his eyes momentarily closed; that was when he lowered his body, sliding Grimm's cock into him. His eyes screwed shut even tighter with the pain he felt, but he never halted his progress…Grimm figured that his love must be in excruciating pain, but not once did he slow down.

"Ichi…" Grimm moaned, closing his eyes, "Fuck…so…tight…" The red head moved his hips slightly, placing his hands up in front of him onto his lover's shoulders and lowered himself even further onto the blunette. Ichi seemed like he was **made** for Grimmjow. He put his hands on Grimm's shoulders and nearly bit the blunette's lip as they kissed. They stayed in that position for a brief moment…a moment that seemed to last an eternity and a millisecond all at the same time.

"Grimmjow…" Ichi's voice was rough with raw pain and lust, "Don't stop…" Grimm smirked and pulled out at the tip and thrusted forward, which caused the boy's prostate to be hit dead center, in turn causing him to scream. Grimmjow's pace was very fast, animalistic even, but then when both felt something coiling inside their abdomens, the blunette's thrusts became sloppy and hard, causing Ichi to moan, "Shit…so…c-close…Grimm…."

That little statement made Grimmjow wrap his hand around the boy's erection and started pumping it, in sync with his thrust.

"Nyaaaahhh!...God…G-Grimm…Grimmjow~!" Ichigo almost screamed as his seed poured out and onto his stomach and on Grimm's hand. Said blunette didn't mind; with a few more thrusts, he tensed and growled out his lover's name as he spilled his seed inside his berry.

When Grimm pulled out of his berry-receiving a whine from loss of contact from said berry-he held the red head in his arms, saying, "Told ya you were my uke." The blunette laughed once he got a smack to the head as an answer, only to gasp in shock when he felt the red head grab his cock firmly. "I may be your uke, but don't forget…I'm in control for when we get our _play time_…" Ichigo growled, stroking the blunette's member back to life. Said male looked down at his love and smirked, before saying, "So you wanna go for another round?"

"Hell ya…"

**Angelchan2012: **Wow…very perverted at the end! Love it! Okay, I sorta also have a reason fer writin' this story…

**Grimm: **Well, what's the reason?

**Shiro: **Ya, I wanna know!

**Angelchan2012: ***sniff, sniff* w-well…it's just that…*sniff*

**Ichi: ***holds Angel* are you okay Angel?

**Angelchan2012: ***sniff* Ya…Well, I guess this is my way of saying Thank You for all the reviews ya left on my other stories my wonderful bunnies! I love you all so much and thank you for your kind words! Literally, I cried reading them! *cries again* You p-people are just t-too sweet! I t-thank you all so much for c-complimenting my work and t-talent as a writer, because in all honesty: I d-didn't think I was that good… I th-thank you wonderful bunnies with all of my heart and love the fact that ya'll like my work! *smiles while crying* Thank You all so much! *hugs reviewers/readers*


	2. AN

**Angelchan2012: **Okay bunnies! I gotta new poll on my bio fer ya! Do ya'll want me to continue this story? If so, I'll probably do a chapter with ShiroIchi~!*smirks* Then I'll do a two chaps! One chap with ShiroIchi! One chap with GrimmShiroIchi! *nosebleeds at the thought*

**Shiro:** *nosebleeds* Please say yes!

**Grimm: ***epic nosebleed* Hell ya! *fist pump* Two ukes!

**Ichi: **I'm all for it! But Angel wants you to vote, so please do it! *smiles kindly*

**Shiro: **Screw you Grimm! I'm totally a seme!

**Grimm: **No you're not! You'd so be a uke!

**Ichi: **We'll just have to see what his results would be on the test!

**Angelchan2012: **Okay, so I hope ya'll vote, and I might have the new chapter up by next week or so, okay? Well, see ya later! Note: the two chaps will be added to this story and will have the chapters will be given titles for ya'll to know which is which!


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